Forgive me in advance, girls, but there will be no jokes, because I was asked about a deadly serious matter: the quality of lesbian relationships. I was even about to give a meaningful answer when it occurred to me that if you don’t know anything about something, don’t speak up.
The last time I was in a relationship was about three years ago, so my knowledge is quite old and, in addition, lacking, as none of my relationships has ever worked out /and there have been quite a few of them/. I can instead give a mini lecture on “why lesbian relationships don’t last”, although the lecture will probably be too much, and the only example I could use would be me. Still not enough to interest anyone 😉
So I tried to imagine what components, apart from the obvious feeling, a relationship between two girls has and tried to analyze these concepts in terms of concrete, familiar individuals. But it quickly became clear that it was easier for me to list what lesbians do wrong in relationships than what they do right.
I think you’ll agree with me that without trust you won’t get anywhere in any relationship, especially a lesbian relationship. Which makes me wonder why so many lesbian couples are together but don’t trust each other. Seriously – I know such couples, I know such girls!
I have a friend who loves to set up jealousy scenes or paranoid arguments when her crush wants to disappear somewhere in the city without her. “I won’t let you go to a party at a gay bar because I don’t trust other girls to hang around you” – yeah, right. It’s not about other chicks at all. You’re just afraid that your girlfriend will succumb to their charms instead of shouting: “get lost in the tree, I have a cool girl waiting for me at home!”. By doing so, you are just riding yourself because you are unsure of your position in the relationship, your attractiveness and everything in general. Keep this up and your love will leave for another woman, because the other one will have the self-confidence that you lack, and most of all she will save herself from another row /at least until the time comes.
I don’t understand one very interesting issue that appears in many les relationships – account on Queer or other Tinder. Of course I have nothing against accounts on dating portals, I like to use them myself, but I don’t get it when a chick in a relationship also has such an account. No, it’s not the ownership that’s the problem, it’s rather the active use of it and texting other girls that’s problematic. You can do it illegally and lie to your beloved that you do not use the benefits of the Internet, but you can also openly have the Queer homepage and make excuses like: “I’m reading LGBT news, and by the way, see what pates are here!”.
For God’s sake, if you don’t give a shit about your girlfriend and you keep logging on to Queer or WomenWomen in the hope that a better one will come along, then have as much courage as you do insolence and just end your failed relationship. A bit of honesty is the best thing you can do for yourself and your unfortunate girlfriend in such a situation. I understand, however, that it is easier and more pleasant – to get first dibs on some new girl on the Internet, so that after a quick breakup you have a soft landing. Keep this up and eventually you will find a girl who will treat you the same way. And then it will really hurt.
Poor sex has killed millions of relationships worldwide. Lesbians certainly know something about it… After all, the term “lesbian bed death” was coined for them.
I once had a girlfriend. I loved her, she loved me, and everything would have been beautiful if not for the sex. At some point in our relationship I avoided any kind of intimacy with her because I was no longer attracted to her. More than that, I was repulsed by her body, I didn’t want to have any physicality with her at all. However, I felt very close to her. I couldn’t imagine that one day she wouldn’t be with me, so our unhappy relationship continued. Unhappy because she wanted what I didn’t want to give her. In the end, she left me and went into a love affair, and after the breakup I made one of the best decisions of my life, moving to another city and fulfilling myself in many ways.
Theoretically there is no happy ending to this story, but if you look further, both my ex and I turned out pretty well. Neither of us regrets it 😉 There are many similar relationships, where sex is not enough, without passion, or not at all, because we mistook love for friendship. In the best case scenario such relationships will go to therapy or will have a quick and not very painful breakup, like I did with my ex. In the worst case scenario – betrayals, constant lying, cheating, and then a big war, ruins and a mess for the next few years. So if you are in a relationship and you already know that your beloved sex is a disaster, look on Google if by any chance somewhere in the area does not accept a nice sexologist. Otherwise, if you have a long and good history together, the breakup /which is practically certain/ will be an ordeal, and if you add to it some cheating and affairs on the side, you will end up in some kind of post-relationship therapy /or in jail, if you go too far in judging your ex-girlfriend/.
I don’t know any more lesbian sins in relationships. Lack of trust, lack of honesty, and lack of sex have effectively killed some really promising relationships I’ve had the opportunity to observe. So what can I add about the quality of lesbian relationships themselves – they will probably be satisfactory if these three concepts are not simply lacking 😉 Do you have any thoughts of your own in relation to the above? I invite you to the posts.